I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i think i just lost a toe
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
