we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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