Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
