Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
