I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
