Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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