nut hugger
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
