Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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