Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
