i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
