Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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