some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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