I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
