i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize