All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
