yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
