you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
