I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
