In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
