More tranny stories later!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
