You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am spending my child support on dildos
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
