it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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