they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
