Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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