if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
