Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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