omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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