Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
