Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
