Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
