It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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