try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
