i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
