apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
