Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
