im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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