Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
accomplished twins. life is a go
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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