worst night to have a conscience
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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