Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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