someone owes me an orgasm
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
