At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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