i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize