it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
