So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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