i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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