Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
