Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
