I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize