I need help removing her.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
