Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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