How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
