You know, be my cock's hype man.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
