I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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