I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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