so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We had sex on a dog bed..
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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