How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
