butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Acid is not a monday night drug
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
