I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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