Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize