I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
