She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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