Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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