You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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