The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
