remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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