when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize