whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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