i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
