Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize